It is very hard for me to describe the relationship that I've had with my medication and the feelings that I've had towards it. It began with a longing to be free from the agonising pain that is associated with Fibromyalgia (fibro) and the need to finally bring to an end years of insomnia. I was willing to try anything that the doctors would give to me, if there was even the slightest chance at all that it might help. But this too brought with it, its own problems for me.
Firstly when taking new drugs, it would take weeks, sometimes months, for my body to become accustomed to the chemicals involved. The side effects of many of the tablets were extensive. Some caused me to gain 3st in weight. My hair thinned out so much that I looked like I was trying to grow a bald patch. My short-term memory became so bad that I found myself incapable of following a conversation. And my eyesight was so severely affected that I had twice as many children as I should have had, I could no longer follow the words of a book to read and driving was definitely out of the question. My house was no longer a home but a jail. I was too anxious to leave and too self conscious to meet people outside of the family.
Oxycontin is a certain example of this. For the past two years I have been on a high level of this drug but in January of this year I said that I had enough of the ever increasing side effects of this medication. It may have given me the best pain relief that I ever had and a break in the pain is what is required for fibro in order that the pain pathways may be changed but it caused stunted speech and worsened my already poor memory. It has taken me over four months to slowly come off this drug and it was very hard going at times. But it was worth it as for the first time in years I now feel like I have the possibility to get out there and start living my life even if I still have some residual pain.
Watch out world here I come.